After a week when German Thomas Tuchel said he was very proud to be named England manager – adding “Two World Wars and one World Cup, do dah, do dah!” – Real Mallorca return to action after another boring international break with a home fixture on Sunday against Madrid side Rayo Vallecano, kick off 2pm. All of the internationalists have returned to Palma, the last one back was Canadian striker Cyle Larin who scored in his country’s 2-1 friendly win against Panama in Toronto.
It was announced on Tuesday that 36-year-old Dani Rodriguez turned down a highly lucrative three-year deal with an unnamed Saudi Arabian side in August. The player said “I prioritised staying with Real Mallorca and would be very excited to play here until I retire.” His decision shows something seldom seen these days in football – commitment.
A player who’s definitely sidelined for Sunday’s game is flying Japanese winger Takuma Asano who’s got a hamstring problem which will keep him out for several weeks. Sunday’s game is a special one for Abdon Prats from Arta. The 32-year-old striker reaches a milestone in his Real Mallorca career when he plays in his 250th game for the club. He will be only the sixth island-born player to reach this figure in the club’s 108 year history. Sunday’s opponents are a side Abdon loves to score against, none more so than towards the end of season 21/22 when he scored a vital goal near the end which more or less kept Mallorca in La Liga. He’s been (alongside club captain Antonio Raillo) one of only two players who have remained in the squad since our stint in Segunda B in 2017.
However, the goal most Mallorquinistas will remember Abdon for was his left-foot “howitzer” from distance that sealed the deal in earning the team’s promotion to the first division in June 2019. We all know Abdon’s not the most skilful around but what he lacks in that department he makes up for in effort. There’s no question “El Dimoni d’Arta” wears his Mallorca heart on his sleeve. Suerte Maestro!
Rayo Vallecano will be a tough nut to crack on Sunday. In their travelling party is (or was) one of the best players in the world back in 2014/20, 33-year-old James (pronounced Hames) Rodriguez. The ex Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, Everton and Golden Boot winner, plus 110 caps for Colombia was due to retire in the Summer, when he changed his mind and joined Rayo. He didn’t do it for the money because in 2015 Forbes estimated that James’s annual income was 29 million dollars.
Last Sunday I watched the local derby between Andratx and Real Mallorca’s B team on IB3 TV. Both these sides are languishing at the foot of Group 3 of Second RFEF. Mallorca B are bottom: played 7, won 0, draw 2, lost 5, scoring three goals (one of them an own goal) and conceding 11. Coached by ex Mallorca stalwart Gustavo Siviero (he played in our European Cup Winner’s Cup 2-1 defeat to Lazio in 1999) the team looked a complete mess. They didn’t have a shot on goal (one effort they had just missed the corner flag!) and had no idea in the final third. Credit to the home side as they hit the bar (Mallorca would have been better off in the bar) and had two shots on target.
For some reason the B team seems to have been neglected and the players just don’t look good enough. Other sides in the division have older players who can control a game with their experience. Our B team don’t have anybody of that calibre. Siviero has loads of coaching experience but has a real mountain to climb with these “boys.” Our B team should be leading the division, not holding it up.
That game in Andratx was full of what’s called “foul simulation.” That means players over-dramatising fouls, rolling all over the grass while screaming (like big Jessies) desperately for help. Suddenly, 90 seconds later, they stand up and keep playing as if nothing had happened. Falling down holding their faces then looking to see if there’s any blood tops the list of injury faking, followed by standing on an opponent’s toes. Players push the rules and beyond, finding every which way they can to claim an advantage. They exaggerate a “coming together” so it looks like a career-ending incident, trying to influence the referee to sanction the perpetrator by getting him yellow carded or sent off. I call it cheating!
AND FINALLY
A blonde is fed up being the butt of so many jokes so she decides to wear a ginger wig. While on a drive in the countryside with her boyfriend, they suddenly come across a flock of sheep in the road. Her boyfriend (a maths professor) asks the shepherd “If I can correctly guess the number of sheep you have there, can I have one?” The shepherd agrees, so the boyfriend gets out of the car, looks at the flock and says “374.” The shepherd is amazed and says “Spot on, pick your sheep.” The boyfriend says to his girlfriend “Go on, babes, you pick one.” So his girlfriend has a look around and puts one in the back of the car. With that the shepherd says “If I can guess your girlfriend’s real hair colour, can I have my sheepdog back?!!”
