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Goodman: The pathetic, flopping Alabama Crimson Tide

Goodman: The pathetic, flopping Alabama Crimson Tide

This is an opinion column.

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When Alabama’s defense was having trouble stopping Tennessee here at Neyland Stadium, the coaching staff resorted to petty cheating.

Lane Kiffin would be proud, but something tells me former Alabama coach Nick Saban will see it differently.

And, of course, just like everything else Alabama tried up on Rocky Top, the cheating backfired and didn’t work.

That’s what it has come to in the wake of Saban’s retirement from the sidelines. Sloppy coach Kalen DeBoer is squirming like a worm in his new job, and his players are diving like soccer players on the field instead of tackling.

In no time, Alabama has gone from being the kings of college football, to the embarrassing Rocky Floppers. Maybe things will improve — one can only hope — but Alabama is drowning in sudden shame eight weeks into the season.

Playoffs? Forget those. Alabama can’t even lose with honor.

There was a moment in the third quarter of Alabama’s 24-17 loss to Tennessee on Saturday when the Crimson Tide threw its dignity face-first into the sod. I’m talking about the dive by Alabama defensive back King Mack, who attempted to fake an injury when his own coach pushed him onto the field to waste time and stymie Tennessee’s offensive momentum.

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The assistant coach was co-defensive coordinator Maurice Linguist.

Confused with a play call (per usual, it seems), Alabama’s defense didn’t know how many players it had on the field. In a panic, defensive back King ran off. But then Linguist pushed King back onto the field and the player collapsed. Scary stuff on so many levels.

Was King hurt? An Alabama trainer rushed onto the field and fell to his knees.

Did the trainer want to check and make sure that King was still breathing? Understandable precautions were taken. For anyone still affiliated with the old days of Alabama, it was a scary moment.

But the officials were unimpressed. Nice try, they said, as a penalty flag was tossed on the ground for illegal substitution.

King gave it his best effort. Gotta give him credit for that. No one can ever say that these players don’t listen to their coaches. Later in the game, it was King who was burned for the decisive Tennessee touchdown.

There’s no other way to frame this Crimson Tide. Alabama’s coaching staff is lost and adrift at sea in the Southeastern Conference.

First there was the loss at Vanderbilt, then a brush with death against South Carolina and now this putrid display in Knoxville. Alabama committed 15 penalties in Neyland, including 10 in a disastrous first half.

Two-time captain Malachi Moore threw the temper tantrum at Vandy and this time it was Kendrick Law melting down with a personal foul at the end of the game.

These players don’t know how to play for this coaching staff. It’s painfully clear after the second loss in three weeks.

Is it time for DeBoer to clean house? Is he going to demand excellence, or keep giving everyone ice cream?

We know the answer. After all, this is the flopping Crimson Tide we’re talking about.

Before the game, they called this Third Saturday in October a playoff elimination game. Little did anyone know that both teams would try to sabotage their postseason résumés before halftime.

For the first 30 minutes of game time (and a plodding, painful two hours in real life), Alabama vs. Tennessee looked like a very bad Big Ten game. With Jalen Milroe at quarterback, Alabama finished the game with only 319 yards of total offense.

Two things are most upsetting about Alabama’s broken team. First, it’s the form of Saban’s former defense. A close second, though, is Milroe’s fall as a Heisman Trophy contender.

In football, they call inside the 20-yard line the red zone. When Milroe gets inside the five-yard line, I’ve started calling it the pucker zone. Hate to write this, but it’s true. When Milroe was close to the goal line in the first quarter, I called his interception to Tennessee’s Jermod McCoy in the end zone.

Alabama led 7-0 at halftime, but it’s not like the Tide’s defense was playing all that great. Tennessee redshirt freshman quarterback Nico Iamaleava just couldn’t connect with wide open receivers down the field. A good quarterback would have scored 40 points on Alabama, but we’ve already seen that story this season.

And where would Alabama be without 17-year-old receiver Ryan Williams? Milroe targeted Williams 19 times, connecting on just eight of the attempts.

Maybe Williams should take some plays off here and there to preserve his health. No need to start flopping, though. They can’t stop anybody, but Alabama’s defensive backs at least have that covered.

MAILBAG

Got a question for Joe? Want to get something off your chest? Send Joe an email about what’s on your mind. Let your voice be heard. Ask him anything.

Joseph Goodman is the lead sports columnist for the Alabama Media Group, and author of the book “We Want Bama: A Season of Hope and the Making of Nick Saban’s Ultimate Team.”

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