Dear Annie: I was disappointed in your response to “Help,” the woman reaching out for advice on how to handle her fiance’s situation with his parents.
I’ve come from a similar world. I’m married to someone who used to struggle with standing up to his parents, which, combined with other problems, nearly destroyed our marriage and tore apart our family a few years ago.
Since then, we’ve gotten help and have learned how to properly handle such situations. She has every right to be concerned, and she is being very wise about seeing the possible problems that may come later down the road.
If she has an issue with this now and he’s not taking her seriously, it would not be wise for things to move forward.
These “well-meaning and caring” parents are suffocating the life and possibility out of this relationship and sabotaging it, and he is enabling them by allowing them to.
“Help” and her fiance should work together to find a mutually satisfying solution and give each other the respect they deserve. — Been There, Got Help
Dear Been There: A number of readers wrote in commiserating with “Help” and warning that her future in-laws’ invasiveness could get worse down the road.
You are absolutely correct that newlyweds require privacy, and “Help’s” fiance must stand up to his parents if their “support” is getting in the way of his relationship.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
