Dear Annie: Learning to regain control in life

Dear Annie: I’m struggling to take control of my life.

My parents have supported me through tough times, including addiction and an abusive relationship. I have three kids with my ex, and my parents were always there for me.

After leaving my ex and moving back in with them, my mom took over the parenting responsibilities, which I reluctantly accepted.

Now I have a baby with my fiance, and I’m a stay-at-home mom, but I feel stuck. My mom is controlling, often making me feel guilty that I’m not doing things right as a mother.

I want to get a degree and improve my life, but I don’t know where to start. I’m over 30 and feel stuck by fear and anxiety.

How can I take control of my life when I feel like I have no support or direction? — Regaining Control

Dear Regaining Control: Rome was not built in a day.

Your mom is used to being the one who was in control while you were sick. Now that you are healthy and recovered, there will be a bit of a transition period for both of you to get used to.

Be grateful for all the help she provided to your children while you were sick, and keep open lines of communication. Explain to her how much better you are doing and that you would like to make your own decisions regarding your children.

Don’t be a victim and say that you have no control over your life. You have lots of control over your life and should celebrate your victories. You left an abusive relationship and got clean and sober — two things that are very difficult to do.

Your desire to get a degree is great. By no means is 30, or any age for that matter, too old to better your education. Go for it, and let your mom be a support in your life so long as she doesn’t criticize.