This is an opinion column.
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Few things give me anxiety like Auburn football.
Maybe stray dogs running across the interstate.
Or toddlers pouring milk.
Or clowns on horseback. Because there’s just something really disturbing about the thought of clowns on horses.
I want to believe in this Auburn football team. For the sake of Auburn’s loyal and patient fans if nothing else, I want to keep hope alive.
But it’s tough work, man. Week after week, living in this blender. They should pass out gummies before games just to take the edge off. Arkansas 24, Auburn 14 was fire-alarm football. Like pyromaniacs between the pylons, quarterbacks were just running around the field and lighting plays and whole drives on fire.
Auburn coach Hugh Freeze started Hank Brown but then benched him after three interceptions in the first half. Backup Payton Thorne was better, but had his own problems, too.
Then there was the fumble in the end zone by running back Damari Alston. Alston was running for a touchdown in the second quarter when he was stripped of the ball a few yards from the goal line. It was so sad.
It was so Auburn.
Let’s be clear. Arkansas isn’t any good. The Hogs just aren’t as bad as the Tigers.
Even after the loss to Cal, there were people who wanted to believe. Maybe the backup quarterback would be better. But no. Brown’s debut against New Mexico feels so long ago. He was shaky from the beginning against Mizzou and Freeze knew it. By halftime, the redshirt freshman’s confidence was cooked.
And the defense?
Auburn’s defense is like watching someone dig holes in the surf at high tide.
Take Arkansas’ second possession of the game. Auburn’s defense played it well, forcing third and long. But just when it seemed like Arkansas would have to punt, Auburn was flagged for roughing the passer. Yes, it was a weak call. Auburn defender Austin Keys lightly pushed Arkansas quarterback Taylen Green as he ran out of bounds.
Still, Keys can’t make that mistake.
Given new life, Arkansas drove the length of the field and scored a touchdown on a 15-play drive. Auburn’s defense looked tired for the rest of the game.
Again and again, drive after drive, offense, defense and special teams, Auburn’s most consistent trait on the field is chronic sloppiness.
Auburn’s defense dropped eight guys on the Hail Mary heave by Arkansas’ Green that gave the Hogs 14-7 lead. It was 3rd and 19. Just like the Iron Bowl, somehow the pass made it to the end zone. That’s Auburn football.
After another five giveaways against Arkansas, Auburn has committed 14 turnovers through four games. It’s the most in the country. San Jose State is second from the bottom with 13 after three turnovers against Washington State on Saturday.
And that statistic doesn’t even take into account the turnovers on downs. What was Auburn’s punter thinking on that attempted fake? Freeze could only shake his head in disgust.
After everything, Auburn still had a chance. Arkansas’s three turnovers kept the Tigers in the game. Like the game against Cal, there was still hope in the fourth quarter.
But Auburn’s misery is imprinted into the DNA of Jordan-Hare at this point in the story. The fifth turnover against Arkansas was an interception by Thorne, but don’t blame Auburn’s quarterback this time. His pass hit receiver Cam Coleman in the hands.
Coleman, the former five-star recruit, tipped it away to an Arkansas defender and that was the game.
Where does Auburn go now? Freeze was at a loss during his post-game news conference when asked about quarterbacks. The Sooners come to town next week. Before Saturday, they were ranked second in the country in takeaways with 10.
Why not give freshman Walker White a try? What about backup Holden Geriner? Like clowns on horseback, Oklahoma won’t care who’s at quarterback. At Auburn, the faces are always different, but the mistakes are all the same.
BE HEARD
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Joseph Goodman is the lead sports columnist for the Alabama Media Group, and author of the book “We Want Bama: A Season of Hope and the Making of Nick Saban’s Ultimate Team.”
