Miss Manners: I found a student’s racy lingerie in my clean laundry, what now?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live near a university, and graduate students are always looking for odd jobs to make extra money. One of them does my laundry twice a week, and always returns it beautifully folded.

This week there was a surprise: a clean pair of red underwear with a reinforced, O-shaped opening in the crotch. It was quite well-made, and could represent a bit of an investment on a student budget.

I’m no prude, and celebrate whatever sexuality may be expressed by this particular garment. My instinct is to return the item in a little bag with a note saying it isn’t mine. But somehow that feels rude, presumptuous and a bit intrusive.

Is there a better way to handle this? I, too, was young once.

GENTLE READER: Who says that it belongs to the student? You may not be their only customer.

Miss Manners suggests that you indeed return the garment with the note saying it is not yours. Adamant assurances of your open-mindedness need not accompany it.