SNOWFLAKE students stuck their oar in after a university rowing club ranked members’ abilities by comparing them to willies.
One struggler was dubbed “Mr Floppy”, while the top performer was named “Morning Wood”.
Oxford Brookes University launched an investigation into its boat club after complaints over the use of comic names.
Rowers were placed into categories which were also given names such as “The Semis” and “Rock Hard”.
Woke students were even more furious after discovering rowers’ names had a column with recommendations, including calls to “toughen up”.
One message on the sheet read: “Watching you row is like watching paint dry.”
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Another had the suggestion: “Put the pies down.”
After the willy-related names and the messages were revealed, a leaked WhatsApp group chat showed a senior member of the coaching staff called for the mole to own up.
But an Oxford Brookes spokesman said: “The material that has been circulated online has appalled us.
“We are taking the concerns that have been raised about coaching practices at Oxford Brookes University Boat Club extremely seriously, and we are working with British Rowing to investigate and address those concerns.
“We are writing to members of the boat club to provide support and encourage them to come forward and report any concerns they may have to the university.”
British Rowing said: “British Rowing is aware of concerns being raised about coaching practices at Oxford Brookes University Boat Club.
“We’re working with the club and university to understand and address the concerns.
“Creating a safe and respectful environment for everyone in the rowing community is our priority.”
The club is renowned for producing Olympic gold medal-winning rowers and world champions.