To Princess Kate & others like her who’ve received lovely news, I want to say, take a breath, a moment to find your feet

WHAT great news to start the week!

The Princess of Wales has revealed she has completed her course of preventative chemo.

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The end of cancer treatment is a huge milestone.

Regardless of the initial diagnosis, the type of chemo, whether you have surgery or not, the significance and impact of this news should not be underestimated.

It has huge physical significance, but often a bigger factor for many cancer patients is the emotional impact.

The big question is typically, ‘Now what?’.

For those fortunate to have escaped being touched by the disease, it might seem pretty straightforward.

Get the party poppers out, the banners and bunting and crack open the Champagne!

In short, draw a big black line under the whole experience and crack on. Get living. It’s done, dusted… time to pick up where you left off.

You are a cancer survivor. You are changed in ways you may not yet be aware of – both wonderful but unsettling too.

And yes, it goes without saying, there is so much to celebrate.

But, can I share my more nuanced thoughts as someone who went through primary breast cancer fourteen years ago, and remembers so vividly what those early weeks and months post-treatment felt like?

To Princess Kate and the many others like her who will have received this lovely news, I want to say, take a breath, a moment to find your feet.

You’re standing on new ground. Firm and solid, I hope – but new ground nonetheless.

You are a cancer survivor. You are changed in ways you may not yet be aware of – both wonderful but unsettling too.

You need to take time to recalibrate and find your new centre. Your priorities and perspective may have changed forever.

Gently does it

The Princess of Wales talks about focusing on the things that matter most, the things that bring her the most joy.

She acknowledges just how hard the last nine months have been and her words will have an enormous impact on those who need it most.

We need honesty, truth and vulnerability when it comes to sharing our experiences of cancer.

We need tools to enable us to embrace and celebrate our healing whilst also grieving our old selves, and our life before cancer.

Gently does it, that’s what I say.

Let the tears flow and embrace the belly laughs.

Celebrate the resilience you didn’t know you possessed and acknowledge the courage still required to get you through any follow up scans or physical niggles you might experience.

It’s all normal. There will be ebbs and flows and you won’t believe how quickly time passes, how physical strength returns and in cases like mine, eyelashes regrow.

You will experience triggers, but you will enjoy glimmers too.

You’ll be high on life and for good reason – you know what really matters.

You’ll think back to those dark days and those sleepless nights when you barely dared dream of ‘normal life’.

Look to the future, say yes to life, don’t allow anyone to diminish your experience.

If you’re anything like me, you will have vowed that if you were lucky enough to survive, you would celebrate the everyday routine, the chores, the To Do lists.

You would never take the ‘magical mundane’ for granted again. And, do you know what? Deep down, you won’t.

But you will experience wobbly days, and that’s okay too. They’re allowed. They are necessary and they are part of the healing process.

Welcome to the club, Kate. You are a survivor.

Actually let’s not call it a club, it’s the most incredible community and it’s one that is always there to support you when you need it.

Look to the future, say yes to life, don’t allow anyone to diminish your experience.

We are all each others’ teachers.

Keep sharing and showing your beautiful, warm human side. There is always room for another virtual hand to hold.

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