Dear Annie: My mother spoils my child, and I don’t want her overwhelmed with material things

Dear Annie: My daughter is the only grandchild, and my mother gives her a gift every time we see her. I’ve told her several times that we don’t want to overwhelm our child (3 years old) with material things, that she has too many toys she doesn’t play with. It’s very important to my husband and I that our child values what she has. My mother is single and very sensitive. Either she ignores what I say or cries. My husband is getting annoyed with the amount of things coming home and berates me for not standing up for our ideals more strongly. How can I address this? — Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught in the Middle: Grandparents love to spoil their grandkids. It’s part of what makes being a grandparent such a gift; all of the fun, none of the discipline! That being said, I can understand why you don’t want your child to grow accustomed to receiving material things every time she sees Grandma.

Tell your mother that you love how much care and attention she is giving your daughter, and explain the values you are trying to instill. Suggest some other ways your mother can spoil her granddaughter — taking her to the beach, taking her out for ice cream or playing a game with her.